To answer that question, I would say there appears to be a lot of 'attitude' in the world of adult diapers. And as you have heard it said, "Attitude is everything."

The subject of incontinence can hush conversation in a crowded room like few other topics. There are powerful emotions behind that momentary silence. Then invariably there is a titter followed by a juvenile-sounding "Eeeeew!" Not a serious engagement of the issue at all. Certainly few people realize that nearly 25 million adult Americans experience incontinence at one level or another and our attitude or emotional response to this curveball has so much to do with the ease or difficulty of adjustments faced by both the sufferers and the caregivers.

Wanting to learn more about how different people take on this emotional challenge, I surveyed numerous forums discussing incontinence and the use of adult diapers, to see what some of the people 'in the trenches' were saying on the subject. The research was enlightening and in the process, I observed three main responses to the loss of that bodily control we humans fight for and win mostly by the age of three. They are what I call the three H's of Diaper Attitude.

The first easily identifiable response was that of horror. As pretty much expected, a number of people suggested they would rather not live to see a day when they would personally need the kind of assistance they had just witnessed a family member requiring. In some cases, the horror was so profound that people went so far as to say they would probably do something to "check out" before such humiliation wafted in their direction. (At the time I read this, I found the extremeness of that comment to be absurd. Just because a peculiar set of muscles no longer functioned in a predictable fashion didn't seem like a good enough reason for my life to come to an end. Does this mean I will personally adjust well to diapers? Time will tell.)

Predictably, humor was the second most common response, easily interpreted as a giddy reaction to our fear of something that lurks just beyond the edge of the immediate future. But humor is not a completely unhelpful response to incontinence. Laughter has its place and healing qualities when stacked against attitudes of horror and disdain. The diaper humor I encountered covered a gamut of quips and experiences, some puerile and some insightful. It included stories of the young guy who unnecessarily 'test drove' several diaper brands and blogged on the subject, the over-told jokes about the lady astronaut who went on a long uninterrupted car trip to get even over a lover. And then there was the positive input of caregivers who said laughing is a better choice than crying and told of how humor was vital to surviving their daily routine.

The third and most interesting of the three H's was the healthy attitude which turns out to be the most helpful as well. This response was voiced by people who had dealt with the nitty gritties of incontinence, either through their own bodies or caring for loved ones. One woman told of how she wished her mother could have just relaxed a little more about her physical situation and given in to wearing the diapers her body needed. Instead, she sadly dehydrated herself into oblivion at a time when her other faculties were still sharp. One caregiver talked of the dignity a good fitting pair of diapers gave her patient because he no longer feared the embarrassment of soiled linens and upholstery as he carried on with his life at home. Another was a personal tale of peacefully falling asleep at night no longer having to set the alarm for an unholy hour in the hope of getting to the bathroom in time to avoid a bedwetting. There were many other accounts told by people who had experienced a mild form of liberation in this most unexpected way.

Really, no one is ever eager to join that 25 million strong group of incontinence sufferers. But reading the comments and conversations of this last group of healthy-minded people gave me a new window from which to view some of life's unexpected and un-hoped for moments. As Winston Churchill put it, "Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference."